Grattitude...

"A grateful man is a happy man"...or so it goes. I would also add that a grateful woman is happy, too! I feel so overwhelmingly grateful for good people, and I'm especially grateful for God--and his hand in my life. I know that there are those out there who doubt the reality of a God, but I'm not one of them!!! I am constantly reminded of his existance by His continual outpouring of blessings in my life. I also believe all the scriptures say about Jesus Christ. I believe He's the literal Son of God.

I sat with my children this morning and talked to them about faith in God and Jesus. Just talking about these two beings set my soul on fire!! I am flawed in nearly every way, but I know that because of Jesus Christ, I have a chance to live with God again--and with my family for ETERNITY!!

Granted--there are some moments when eternity sounds outright SCARY ;-)--usually when Mariah and Amber are fighting over clothes. But at this moment, I can't imagine a greater gift.

Our family received some amazing gifts this holiday!! Invaluable gifts of time, service, money, etc. There are so many individuals and families who have generosity pouring out their ears!! I am so grateful to those who constantly helped us out...THANK YOU!

We began Sterling's sleep training two days ago. He's done SOOOO much better than our other children---OR maybe---Hunter and I are finally figuring out how WE should do it!! I feel so heartbroken as I place Sterling in his crib and walk away. I feel like I'm abandoning him. He's such a peacable baby. The last thing I want to do is walk away from him. Honestly, I just want to scoop him up in my arms and kiss him until he falls asleep from all the obsessive cuddling!! It's SOOO hard! I love him so much.

I love them them all so much. It's hard to express how my heart swells with pride each time they make good decisions. And I don't think there's a graph or chart that can adequately show how my excitement bubbles over when they succeed in their various activities. No words quite fit the bill when one of them throws their arms around me and says, "I love you, Mom!" In fact, Mariah randomly listed all of my mommy-duties in her journal today--then turned to me and asked, "Mom--you don't get much time for yourself...do you? Because with all I've got written down, you take care of all the house stuff, kids, husband, bills, food, homework, and church stuff--but then, there's no time for you to do what you want to do." I watched her puzzled expression morph to a look of complete grattitude. Before I could respond, she smiled and said, "Mom---thanks for everything. I love you." Sure--there's contention and bickering that errupts at times, but those moments make mommying so worth it! Mommy-hood is a difficult job to guage success. Sometimes, you don't know if you're moving up or down! I would venture to say that it's the most trying/satisfying job I've ever had!! I've come to the realization that I am a duty-bound mommy with the intention to do good. Whether what I "intend" to happen ever happens--I'm trying my very best; I'm giving this family the best I've got--and that will have to do for now :-).

Hunter started studying for the Bar this week. So far--he's feeling good about his plight. Overwhelmed??? ABSOLUTELY! However--I see the determination in his eyes. I have faith in him, and I believe he's got a fabulous future ahead of him. He's a really wonderful man, and I'm fortunate to have lived the adventure with him these past 12 years. CRAZY how time flies, eh?? I met Hunter in January 1998--12 years ago. We've had 5 kids together and a ton of great memories! LOVE YOU BABE!!