I went under the knife last Wednesday in hopes of solving my 14 year pain problem. The Doctor had told me that I had symptoms which led him to believe I had endometriosis and interstitial cystitis (which is a chronic bladder disease where ulcers form all along the bladder wall and rupture sporadically). Unfortunately, when the team of medical pros went inside my tummy, they found both diseases. The good thing was that the endometriosis wasn't as bad as I had expected. They only found a mass of endometrios (which is like a tumor which inflames and bleedes each month during my cycle) on the left lower side of my pelvic area. The bigger bummer was the fact that they were able to verify that I had a bad case of IC (interstitial cystitis--or "Painful Bladder Syndrome").
The IC may have developed over time--or I could have been born with the disease. The sad part is that there is NO cure. IC is in the reasearch stage. All medications (except Elmiron) have proven to be inconclusively unhelpful. Elmiron--for SOME reason proved to relieve some of some peoples symptoms after 3-4 months of use. Elmiron's side effects are worse than the IC though. It also makes me sick to my tummy--to the point that I can't sleep. I could have hair loss, too.
It was a really tough blow at first--because I was REALLY hoping to be healed and relieved of my pain, but that may not happen. Even the pain medication made me WAY nautious and I had to go back to Ibueprofin--which doesn't even touch the pain. WELL--now, a little over a week later, I've been determined to beat the depression that seemed to eat me whole the first few days after surgery. I was called to be the 2nd Counselor in the Stake Primary Presidency in our Stake---so obviously, the Lord isn't planning on letting me sit around and mope and say, "POOR ME!" YES--the pain may never go away, but I am still perfectly capable of living happily, right??!
I have thought a lot about acquiring the full and complete faith to be healed. I'm not there yet, but I certainly believe the Lord is capable. I know that HE has the power--I'm just not sure if I'm supposed to go through this for a reason, and if the Lord's will is to keep my hurting. We'll have to see. If I know it's the Lord's will for me to be healed--I'm ready for it!!
Monday, November 19, 2007
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